Single Mom Tips
Parenting Tips For Single Moms
Single Mom Tips By Ryan Frank
Parenting is one of the most difficult jobs in the world. Taking on
the job when you're a single mom is even harder. The decisions you make
as a parent are, in the end, up to you, but these tips should provide
some helpful advice that can guide you along.
Managing work and school activities
When you're a single, working mom, keeping up with your children's
extracurricular activities can be difficult. Often your work schedule
will conflict with your child's school plays or soccer games. A good way
to find help and make friends at the same time is to ask other parents
at these events to trade rides. Meaning, when you can't take your kid,
these other parents can give you a hand, and when they need a ride for
their kids, you can return the favor. This is also a great way to build
a supportive community around your child.
Taking leaves
Juggling the responsibilities of work and child rearing is not easy.
Sometimes you will have to miss work, leaver early, or take a few days
off when your child is sick or in need of special care. The law protects
your right to leave work for the sake of your child in the case of
emergencies or special situations. Make sure that you know your rights
so that employees don't hold your parenting responsibilities against
you.
Discipline
Single moms are at a disadvantage when it comes to disciplining their
kids, because they usually have no other adult there to back them up in
the event of a conflict. If there is ever a discipline issue, try asking
a trusted friend or family member to talk to your child. They might be
able to get him to open up in a way that you cannot. Remember, though,
to always keep reassuring your child that you are there for him no
matter what happens and that he should never be afraid to talk about his
problems with you.
Male role models
Children, especially male children, need to have male role models they
can look up to. If you're a single mom, try asking a trusted male friend
or a male family member to come and spend time with your child from time
to time. There are also some great mentoring programs available that
match caring adult role models with children that need them.
Hold off on the dating scene
If you continue dating casually when you're a single mom, it can be
traumatizing for your child. For the time being, your primary
responsibility is raising your kid. Hold off on the dating scene until
your child is mature and old enough to handle it. It is important to
keep these tips and other
information for black moms in mind when raising your child.
Ryan is an avid blogger and writer living in San Diego, CA.
Surviving As A Single Parent: Seven Simple Suggestions To Make Your Life Easier by Danielle Hollister
1 - Forgive even if you will never be able to Forget -
Let go of grudges you may hold against your child’s other parent, who is absent from BOTH of your lives. Holding onto feelings of anger will not change your situation and will probably consume a great deal of your energy - energy you need to devote to creating a positive environment for your child.
If you dwell on your disappointment with and/or dislike of the father or mother of your child - chances are your child will sense your feelings and suffer in some way from your negative attitude.
2 - Make the most of everything you have -
Even if you do not have a lot of money, you do have your child and
your love and your time to give to him or her. Try to remember that
monetary wealth and material possessions are not the most important
items in your child’s life.
Your love, support and time together mean much more to them. You can
have fun for free. Activities like - going for a walk or a bike ride,
playing at the park, coloring, painting, singing, or dancing - will
thrill your child just as much as spending money to go to an amusement
park, an arcade or a toy store.
3 - Be the best parent you can possibly be -
Give as much as you can without setting goals that are unrealistic
for one parent to achieve. Don’t beat yourself up for what cannot be.
Do recognize what you can do to create a good life for your child to
the best of your abilities.
4 - Develop a network of reliable resources - Families are not biological.
Surround yourself and your child with friends you know and trust -
people who care about both of you. “Aunts” and “Uncles” and even
“Grandparents,” who are not blood-related can be just as beneficial to
your child as actual biological family members.
The “family” you create for your child can provide him or her with the
same kind of love and support as a traditional family. They can also
help you with your responsibilities as a single parent. Let them play
an active role in your child’s life. Learn to turn to your “family”
when you need a break.
Nobody should have to go it alone and you will probably be able to be
a better parent by relying on your “family” of close friends to
support you and your child.
5 - Take responsibility for your life today -
Remember whatever lead you to where you are today, you are
responsible for another life - the innocent life of a child, who
didn’t ask to be born.
Your child is not responsible for the experiences or events that made
you become a single parent. Your child is completely dependent upon
you through no choice of their own.
Don’t let them down or hold them accountable for your actions (or the
actions of their absent parent). They are powerless and vulnerable to
the possibly less-than-ideal consequences they face as the child of a
single parent. Your role and influence in their life is paramount to
their chances of becoming a happy, productive, successful adult. They
need you more than their words will ever tell.
6 - Set up daily rituals and regular routines -
Your child needs stability and security.
One way to provide this is by developing a daily routine. Simple
things like - going to the park every Sunday afternoon, eating dinner
together each night, sharing a treat before nap time or reading a book
together before bed every night, will become activities that your
child looks forward to and can count on to occur with regularity.
7 - Be consistent and dependable -
Create realistic rules and a standard of discipline that you stick
to all the time.
If you’re consistent with your child, he or she will learn what is
acceptable behavior and what is not. They will also learn what you
expect from them and what they can expect from you.
If you’re dependable, they will know that they can always count on you
to help them with their homework, be there for dinner or tuck them in
bed at night.
They have to be able to depend on you. You’re the most important
person in their life.
Try to remember that no matter how tired you are at the end of the day
or how frustrated you may become when they’re fussy - They need you to
be there for them.
You should cherish every moment with your child - they are the best
blessings on earth.
Resource Box - © Danielle Hollister (2004) Danielle Hollister is the Quotations Editor at BellaOnline and Publisher of BellaOnline Quotations Zine http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art8364.asp
This page is full of single mom tips, thanks to Danielle and Ryan. These helpful parenting tips can be just as useful for single dads. Single parents face their share of unique challenges and none of it is easy. Having been a single parent I know just how hard it can be. I also know the importance of putting the needs of your children above anything else. It's not easy but it can be done.
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