Grandparents

Summer Camp Nannapappa

All my children were lucky to grow up with loving parents and some wonderful grandparents. Nanna and Pappa's house has been home away from home for nine grandkids and four great grandchildren. They can walk in the door at any time and go straight to work. It's usually the toy closet or the arts and crafts table that get the most attention, but there is always the back yard playground or the bikes in the garage. My parents have a great house full of activities just for their favorite kids. They have the time, love and devotion to go with them. This summers project is called summer camp nannapappa. They are planning activities for three great grandchildren and one grandchild. They are providing a great service for four hard working couples that would not be able to get their kids to summer activities like swim lessons and the zoo camp. In this day of two working parents, grandparents can be such a great help in raising active children.

Not all grandparents have this kind of time available and not all are in good enough health, but there are still a lot of ways to help with the parenting. Books and magazines are a great way to show a grandchild you love them. Every month when Ranger Rick arrives in the mail my youngest daughter remembers how much her Nanna and Pappa love her. Show them you really care with educational gifts or trips to the museum. Providing parenting books or magazines for your children is another way to show your grandkids you care.

Divorce can change the role grandparents have in helping out with the grandkids.  Some divorced parents honor the rights of grandparents by making sure they all get plenty of time with the grandkids, some do not.  If it becomes necessary to take legal action to get your grandparent rights  these recourses might be helpful.

The following article is a short piece full of good grandparents ideas.  It is well worth the couple of minutes it will take to read it.

5 Tips for Successful Grandparenting

By Don Schmitz

Building on the cherished connection between grandparents and grandchildren is a life-long privilege. As grandchildren grow and mature the role grandparents play in the lives of their grandchildren changes but the principals remain true at any age.

1. Boundaries are necessary for control and safety. All children need and must learn to respect boundaries. Being clear about expectations before an activity begins frees you and the child to enjoy the event and ensures the safety of everyone involved. If you observe the boundaries are being violated, don’t be afraid to remind your grandchildren again. Restate the rules as many times as necessary. Writing the rules and posting them or bringing them along is a good idea. If a rule is violated during the activity, ask the child to repeat or read the rules again.

2.Gift giving is not a requirement of grand parenting. Establish a practice with your first grandchild and stick with it; what you do for one doesn’t necessarily have to be done for all. Financial and family situations change as our children grow. If a family experiences loss of a job or divorce, don’t be afraid to make temporary changes. Gifts are gifts especially when they are unexpected. Surprise gifts are the best. Gifts don’t have to cost a lot. Research supports the fact that “time together” is the best gift we can give. Travel provides time for the grandparent and grandchildren to discover and appreciate each other’s gifts.

3. All rules must be consistent with parents’ wishes. Anything you do with and for your grandchild needs to be discussed first with the parents. After all, parents make the rules and effective grandparents support them. Don’t keep secrets from the parents and don’t ask the grandchildren to keep secrets from their parents. Many grandparents believe that some information should not be shared with the parents, but this only undermines the relationships.

4. There is no substitute for planning. Proper planning ensures that the activity will be discussed with the parents. No matter what the age or sex of your grandchild, planning makes any activity more successful. This is not to say you can’t be spontaneous, but it’s often better and safer to have a plan. Discuss with the child what he or she would like to do. Give careful thought to the age appropriateness of the activities before you begin. Giving children choices increases their self-confidence and is great training for the future.

5. Grandchildren and grandparents want to have fun! There is no substitute for good old-fashioned belly laughs. It's good for you, your grandchild and your relationship. During the activity itself, share with your grandchildren how excited you are about being with them. Children enjoy getting away from their parents for short periods of time and grandparents enjoy being part of a very important relationship. Parents enjoy their break too.

Don Schmitz is a popular speaker and writer on parenting and grandparenting. He is the author of The New Face of Grandparenting …Why Parents Need Their Own Parents and founder of Grandkidsandme, which includes: Grandparent Camps and Grandkid Days. Don holds graduate degrees in Education, Administration, Human Development and father to three sons and seven grandchildren.