Divorce and Child Custody
Gain Some Knowledge At This Critical Time
There are many issues going on when you are thinking about divorce and child custody. Some of my personal thoughts can be read on my page about affairs and children. Divorce truly is a hard decision to come to, and in most cases, not the best one for the children.
You do, however, want to put the needs of the children above
all others at this time. It may not be easy to bring
children through a divorce unharmed, but it is possible.
I am all for joint custody and working things out between you and your spouse. Hopefully the two of you have a better idea of what is good for the children than the judge, if so, I feel custody decisions should be yours to make.
One of the biggest problems that arise in a joint custody situation is getting used to the idea that in most cases, a child really is better off spending time at both households. It is so easy to get into the criticism rut, always putting down the other parent and the way they do things. You will need to get beyond this stage. Hopefully you are still able to parent together at least to some degree, agreeing on certain rules that could apply to both households. When you cannot agree, and there will be times, you need to let it go. Allowing the child time with both parents is more important than having the same sets of rules at both households.
The best way to get through this time of divorce, child custody arrangements, single parenting and step parenting is to learn from the experts. Making mistakes at this time could have long lasting effects. Do some homework and try to avoid them.
There is just no way to overstate the need for education at this time. This is a time for clear thinking and wise choices. This is a time for fairness and doing the best you can for your children. If fairness is a goal, and a proper amount of time is spent on education, divorce does not have to involve lawyers. All Things Divorce is a well written page about divorce and how to make it work as best possible for all parties involved.
Below are some of my top choice reading material regarding divorce and child custody.
Divorce & New Beginnings: A Complete Guide to Recovery, Solo Parenting, Co-Parenting, and Stepfamilies, 2nd Edition
This supportive guidebook provides a wealth of proven coping skills to help readers weather the difficult times and eventually build new
beginnings. Experienced clinical psychologist Genevieve Clapp addresses daily problems and long-term concerns with a real-world practicality. Clapp
provides a road map of what lies ahead, including advice on choosing a lawyer, helping children adjust, custody arrangements, and dealing with anger
and anxiety. Ideal for divorcing parents as well as couples without children, this book will help readers nurture healthy, committed relationships
and successful stepfamilies. This guide includes updated information on co-parenting and current topics such as parent alienation, stalking, and substance abuse.
The Single Father: A Dad's Guide to Parenting Without a Partner
This indispensable resource educates single dads about the joys of fathering and gives them the knowledge, skills, and support they need to become
actively involved fathers. 45 illustrations.
Does Wednesday Mean Mom's House or Dad's?": Parenting Together While Living Apart
The parents of over 40% of the children in the United States get divorced. This book, written by an experienced forensic psychologist, explains to parents
who are divorcing what they should expect when it comes to parenting apart and child custody. Unlike other books on the subject, it's not a weapon
for "winning" the custody battle (a skirmish no one ever really "wins"), but a guide to how both parents can make custody arrangements that are in
their children's best interests.
*Explores what kinds of custody arrangements work best; the legal process; dealing with the practicalities of joint custody; and handling
custody disputes *Shares special advice for avoiding the pitfalls of co-parenting from a distance *Features proven ideas and practical solutions
for everything from balancing vacation schedules to what to do about toys for children traveling between homes
MARC J. ACKERMAN, PhD, (Glendale, Wisconsin) is a clinical psychologist and an expert on child custody. He has conducted over 1,000 child custody
evaluations, counseled families going through divorce, and written three books on the topic.
Parenting After Divorce: A Guide to Resolving Conflicts and Meeting Your Children's Needs
Divorces rarely work out perfectly. In the real world, divorcing parents are often in conflict, and arguments are the rule, not the exception. "However, if
parents continue to argue after the divorce, " says Dr. Philip Stahl, "the children will suffer." Stahl knows parents are not perfect, and in this book
he shows imperfect parents how to settle their differences in the best interests of their children.
Dr. Stahl's advice will help you avoid the dozen most common mistakes that divorcing parents make -- and spare you the emotional and financial damage
they can cost you. His 30-point "sample parenting plan" sets a new standard for families who want to bring order out of the usual chaos of parenting after
divorce. The chapter, "What Your Kids Really Think, " is by itself worth the price of the book.
This is a powerful, practical book that every divorcing parent should read while there's still time to insure a secure and healthy future for their children.
The Co-Parenting Survival Guide: Letting Go of Conflict After a Difficult Divorce
Offers advice for building a co-parent partnership, allowing children to benefit from their own relationships with their parents, discussing
communication, conflict resolution, discipline, special events, and new partners.
Successful Single Parenting
Drawing on the wisdom of God's Word and his own years of experience in working with single parents, Gary Richmond offers the most complete guide available
for navigating the challenging waters of single parenting.
Halving It All: How Equally Shared Parenting Works
Using vivid quotations from her interviews with an array of couples, Deutsch tells the story of couples who share parenting equally and some who don't.
When Mom and Dad Separate: Children Learn to Cope With Divorce
Author(s): Heegaard, Marge E.
Healthy Divorce: For Parents and Children--An Original, Clinically Proven Program for Working Through the Fourteen Stages of Separation, Divorce, and Remarriag
What about the kids? How can I be sure getting a divorce is the right thing to do?
Should we stay together until the divorce is final? These and other questions are answered in this compassionate guide. The authors’ original
step-by-step process helps families, therapists, and counselors craft a responsible, deliberate divorce process that targets the emotional well-being
of both parents and children.
"A wise and practical guidebook for divorcing parents. There is something useful here for any point in the process. Divorcing parents who
take this book seriously will inevitably protect themselves from much grief."—Richard A. Gardner, clinical professor of child psychiatry, Columbia
University, and author of The Boys' and Girls' Book About Divorce
"This is a solid book written by two well-respected leaders in the field of divorce counseling and mediation. It is an excellent resource
for professionals and parents alike."—Isolina Ricci, author of Mom's House, Dad's House
"At long last, a practical, informed, and sensitive guide for parents and children navigating the painful passages of separation, divorce, and
remarriage. Erasing the pain is impossible, but providing guidance through fourteen predictable stages removes the unknown and eradicates
fear." —William C. Nichols, editor of Contemporary Family Therapy
"Healthy Divorce is a very valuable book, containing practical answers to difficult questions."—Dan Kiley, author of The Peter
Pan Syndrome and The Wendy Dilemma
Divorce and child custody, there are no easy decision, but with the proper education you should be able to make the best ones regarding your children's needs.
Thoughts About Divorce and Child Custody
This can be the toughest of times. How did you get through it? Can you share a story, give some advice or recommend a good book? If you prefer to ask a question about divorce and child custody, that's fine to.
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Dad, Daughter and Divorce
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Divorce is tough on kids, no matter how you look at it. It can be tough on parents also. My daughter was fourteen when momma decided she was better off ...
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